Time vs. Distance

I must be honest – I have really been struggling with running these days. Every time I go out I feel slow, sluggish, and my pace is off by about sixty to ninety seconds. It’s frustrating and discouraging, and I don’t know that the problem is just the humidity. I’m not sure what all is going on, but I have some idea.

It is time to start training again for a fall half marathon. Notice I said half. My original goal at the beginning of the year was to run a full marathon, but after the last half race, it became clear to me that I am not ready for a full marathon. That is discouraging, but considering I’ve only been seriously running for about a year and a half, it’s not the main issue. I’m not sure what race I want to run. I could sign up for the race I did last year (and had a PR), but to be honest I’m a little tired of running basically the same routes over and over. There is a new race in a city about two hours from here that would fall within the same training schedule. I’m like the idea of running an inaugural event. However, the truth is, there are a lot of unknowns heading our way later this summer and fall. There are some concerns that I won’t be able to keep up with the training program, and I don’t want to attempt running a race that I’m not mentally and physically prepared for. (I also hate the thought of losing my entry fee).

Combine that with my dissatisfaction with my training group and uncertainty as to whether I should join a new group, I have basically been at a standstill with running on my own. I have an unhealthy sense of loyalty, and feel like I “owe it” to this training group to go back because it helped me get through two good races. But last time I had no one my pace to train with, and I basically don’t like one of the coaches as a person (or as a coach for that matter). I am apprehensive about going back to that group at the level I am now. Being told that I look like sh*t is not going to help my confidence.

I’ve got about three weeks to figure out what I’m going to do and try to get myself back into racing form. Which brings me to my plan. I am a person who is obsessed with how far I have run, and how fast my pace was. I will map my routes over and over again in case I miscalculated the first 10 times. I know it’s unhealthy. It has definitely not been helping me that last few weeks. So, instead of focusing on a 3 or 4 or 5 mile run, I am going to run for time and not worry about distance.  I am just going to leave the house and run wherever my feet take me. No pre-planned route, just exploration. I promise I will not calculate my route once I return.

Recently I have been so consumed by my slow pace, I haven’t wanted to run at all. The worrying and the lack of running have not been good for me. I need to get back to basics. I run because I want to, because I love it, because it makes me feel good. I think focusing on timed runs will help that. My goal for this week is to run five times – four 30-35 minute runs and a 50 minute run. I think I can do it – I’ve already got two 30-ish minute runs completed.  I’ll report back on Tuesday.