Reflections on Christmas

I love Christmas.  I really do. I love finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list.  I love wrapping presents in pretty paper and bows. I love making Christmas cookies (9 kinds this year). I love spending time with family and friends.

I’m not one for organized religion, so for me the Christmas season is about showing the ones you love that you care for and appreciate them.  It’s about being a good and kind person so that others respect you and treat you the same in return.

When I was young, my brother and I would try to stay up all night waiting for Santa.  We never managed to make it the whole night. One of us would usually wake up between two and three a.m. and we would sneak downstairs to see if he’d been there. He always had.  We never touched the presents, just sat on the stairs, staring in awe at the bright packages waiting for us. Then we would run back upstairs to attempt to sleep for another four hours or so.

I do miss that innocence, and I look forward to the day that we can share our Christmas celebration with children.  Watching the faces of the little ones in our is so fun, and I can’t wait to see my own kids run down the stairs Christmas morning to see if Santa came.

Christmas also marks the near-end of another year, which brings mixed feelings. I look forward to whatever opportunities the new year holds (much in the case of 2012), but I also feel a bit sad about the close of the current year.  It marks another year of life passed, another year older, unattained goals.  Sometimes I’m not ready to move on.

This year the changes start early.  I begin my new job in about twelve hours. I’m a bit nervous, but also excited. I’m ready for a change and what better time to do it than at the close of the holiday season.

Where Did You Go?

Wow.  I didn’t think it had been almost two months since my last post.  I’ve been here all along, but much has been going on.  Where to start?

I have been writing a decent amount, but my writing workshop is already over. I am pretty sad about that.  I can’t believe the twelve weeks went by so quickly.  We have one extra session after the holidays, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s completely over. It was everything I’d expected and more.  It was the motivation and support that I needed to start writing regularly.  I still think most of what comes off the tip of the pen is crap, but at least I’m writing something every day.

The class inspired me to research MFA programs. Maybe that’s insane to even consider given the fact that I already have loans I’m paying on for my law degree.  But if it makes me happy, maybe the cost is irrelevant (to an extent)? I’d made a plan.  I was going to apply for programs in a year.  That would give me time to perfect my writing portfolio, take the GRE, and generally prepare for the application process.  That would have me (hopefully) starting a program in two years (preferably someplace warmer than here).

But then I got a new job in the legal profession.  I start next week.  I am looking forward to it, and it will be a great opportunity for my legal career.  How it is going to impact the rest of life remains to be seen. I’m not sure if my 2-year plan can still work.  But maybe it can become a 5-year plan or something.  It’s not like MFA programs won’t be around then.

I’ve been running a lot.  I did six miles yesterday for the first time since July or something.  It felt good.  I signed up for another half marathon in May.  I realized that putting off training while waiting to see whether something happened in another part of life was silly, and that not running was probably impacting those efforts negatively.  (Confused?  That was intentionally vague.  Perhaps more can be shared soon.)

Not only have I signed up for another race, I am fundracing.  Have you heard this term?  As I train, I raise money for an organization called Back on My Feet.  It’s a wonderful program, and I’m happy to be running this race for them. (What’s that?  You need a charitable contribution before the end of the year for tax purposes?  Donate here!)

Which brings me to the final point of this post.  I think it might be time to make this blog a little more “public.”  Yes, I know, it’s already on the internet.  How much more public could it be?  What I mean is, promote it, not be so anonymous.  I want to use this platform as a way to share my training – both running and writing. I want to stop complaining about my profession.  I chose it.  I have to deal with where I am now.  And I have to love and accept that in order to accomplish any other goals that I have.

So, look for some changes around here and a shift in focus.  I hope you’ll still visit.