Hatching a Plan

I have been whining a lot lately about my job.  I’m frustrated about my work load.  I’m frustrated that many of my friends and classmates are becoming partners and I still have to put someone else’s name on a status report and have little to no client contact.  I feel that at this point in my career I should have more control over what I do and how my cases are run.  I have a degree in entrepreneurship, so having to report to someone for my entire career was never something that appealed to me.  This is why I have been toying with the idea of opening my own firm.  I know that becoming a photographer or a writer is not going to happen overnight.  What am I going to do in the meantime?  How am I going to make it through another two or five or more years as an attorney?

Yesterday I was avoiding doing my work by reading all of the blogs I subscribe to.  I read this post on GOINGPRO (a blog focused on giving advice to photographers aspiring to become professionals) listing five tips about actually making the switch.  It was as if the post were written specifically for me.  I realized that the change I need is not within my current profession.  Well, I mean, it is in that I need to find a new one, but not as far as changing jobs within that profession.  What I need to do is take proactive, concrete steps towards becoming a photographer.  And these five tips, perfectly packaged in a relatively short blog post, are going to help me do it.

I decided that I needed a plan – a “turning pro” plan.  Long term goals, short terms goals, the whole works.  I need to sit down and properly assess HOW to turn this into reality.  It’s not a plan that will come together overnight.  It may take a few weeks or months.  But it’s necessary to put this type of effort in early on.  It will be my business plan.  I can do that, even if the last business plan I drafted was for an undergraduate class many years ago (it did get me into a business plan competition).  I’m even going to use my new iWork programs to put it together.  It will be so official!

There were two tips in particular that struck chords with me.  First, scheduling time every day – even if only fifteen minutes – to take pictures.  I have not been doing that.  I have been developing a (bad) habit of taking a lot of pictures over the weekends or at lunch one or two days a week when I “have time”, and then using those for my posts throughout the week.  I try to take a new picture every day for the Daily Shoot assignments, but sometimes I find a picture I’ve already taken that fits the assignment or I run out of time and don’t complete the assignment (at least that’s the excuse I give).  I know that defeats the purpose of the assignment.  So, from this point forward, at least fifteen minutes every day taking pictures and setting up shots.

The second tip was especially resounding – gradually shed yourself of your day job.  This is something I can get on board with.  I am considered an independent contractor, self-employed (I don’t know that it would actually pass the test) and so long as I am considered such, I can make my own hours.  The first step in my plan is to start working only four days a week.  I should be able to bill the same amount of hours in four days without much trouble.  I won’t have to lose any income, but I will gain so much time.  Having one full day to focus on taking photos, editing, and educating myself will be huge.  I also think it will help my concentration at my day job.  Even if it means spending a couple extra hours at the office on those four days, knowing that I have a day off to focus on something I love will make the time there more tolerable (hopefully).

I know it’s going to be work to hatch my plan, but I’m excited about the prospect and what it ultimately means.  I am a person who likes lists and to-do items, and I love being able to check off tasks as they are accomplished.  It’s a visual report of my progress. Yes, I was one of those kids that lived for “gold stars” in school.  I plan to start earning them again.

The Power of the Blog

A couple of weeks ago I heard the email notification tone go off on my phone.  I knew it was a Gmail account because it wasn’t time for my other two accounts to be checked.  I have two Gmail accounts.  I set up the first one when I thought my internet provider account was going to be deactivated during a move.  I set it up just as a safety precaution and haven’t shared it with anyone, other than Crate & Barrel, somehow.  I literally only get emails from Crate & Barrel on that account.

I also have a Gmail account that I set up for potential photography business, and placed it on my photo blog.  Prior to this particular day, I had never received ANY emails on that account (on?  in?  Who knows.)  I picked the phone up fully expecting to be wowed by another C&B sale offer.  Imagine my shock when it was the other account and the subject line was “Photo”.  My heart started to race.  What could this be about?

I fumbled around, excited, anxious, and finally got the message open.  I quickly scanned the message.  My face became flushed.  Someone wanted to use one of my pictures in a magazine!  A real magazine!  Then I immediately thought, “Is this a joke?  This must be a joke.  I’m being Punk’d.”  The magazine contact was looking for a photo of a border collie-beagle mix.  I must admit – I was surprised.  I figured I was the only one who actually thought my dog was the most beautiful and photogenic dog in the world (not that this person thinks that about her, but you see what I’m getting at).  But why this particular picture?  I have other, better pictures.  It must be a joke.

But what if it wasn’t a joke?  There was a professional signature block at the bottom of the email.  The email address was a business server.  So, I looked up the website, Googled the person who emailed me, and it hit me.  This was for real!!  Then I panicked.  This was the first time I had ever had this happened.  I take pictures and post them on a blog that is mainly viewed by my friends and family.  I’m not a professional photographer.  Do I even know how to respond to him in an appropriate and professional-sounding manner?!  I want him to think I know what I’m talking about.  So, I Googled that too.  Within a few minutes I had found the language I needed to at least provide a brief response.  “I will be happy to provide you with a non-exclusive license.”  How professional do I sound?!

It must have worked because he wanted to know when he could call that following Monday.  9:00 am, I say.  For once, I can’t wait until Monday morning!  At 8:45, I’m ready to go.  I’ve decided on an appropriate amount to ask for, and reasonable terms for usage.  It gets closer to 9:00.  I get more anxious.  It’s 9:05.  Oh, no!  Did I type in the wrong phone number?  At 9:20, my husband comes downstairs.  What time zone is the magazine guy in, I ask?  Central time, he says.  A wave of relief comes over me.  We are in Eastern time.  I did not specify a time zone.  It’s OK.  He’s going to call.  Yes, I felt just like that sounds – as if I were waiting for the phone call after the first date.  He said he’d call.  Why hasn’t he called?

I went to my office and settled in at my desk.  I got up close to 10:00 to shut the door for some privacy.  It got to be 10:05.  Disappointment, again.  Maybe he’s just busy.  Maybe something came up.  Surely he’ll call or email.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Crushed, I moped home at the end of the day.  Did I bother to email or call him?  Of course not.  He didn’t call so he must not be interested, right?  I really need to work on being more proactive and assertive.  This has always been an issue (see yesterday’s post).

By this point you must be thinking, what a terrible story and what does it have to do with the post title?  Well, today I got another Gmail notification.  Oh, Crate & Barrel, do you have my produce bags back in stock yet?  I open the mail icon, and it’s a message from the magazine guy!  He’s still interested!  He’s attached a contract!  I’m ecstatic!  I think this is actually going to happen!  I completed the contract, sent it back, and resized the photo as soon as I got home this evening.  I sent it off thinking about how I will be able to say I am a published photographer! 

None of this would have happened without my blog.  The guy found one of my images through Google images, which pulled photos from my blog.  I put the right tags on the post to get into the right Google images category.  I never in my wildest dreams expected something like this would ever actually happen.  Thanks to WordPress for providing me with a free platform for my blog.  Thanks to the Postaday project for encouraging me to post every day.  He found me after I was posting on a daily basis, and who knows whether I even would have taken that picture in the first place if I wasn’t challenging myself to post every day.  Blogging works!  It might not happen today, and it might not happen tomorrow, but at some point, someone who loves your stuff will find you!  The power of the blog is amazing.  Keep at it!

The Procrastinator Reports Back

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about two important things that I had been putting off for fear of rejection and failure.  I am trying to build a photography portfolio and I know that in order to do this I need to start taking pictures of people.  I also know that there is a lot I don’t know about the business side of photography, and the best source of information is other photographers.

I finally summoned up enough courage to email our wedding reception photographer and ask if she would be willing to talk with me.  I agonized over the wording of the email and it was only about four lines long!  I deleted and revised and let the email sit in my draft messages for most of the day.  I knew that I would eventually send it, so I’m not sure what caused the paralysis.  After reading the email for the 100th time or so, I finally pushed send.  And waited…and waited…or so it seemed.  She actually got back to me in just two days or so.  And what did she say?  She said she would be happy to speak with me!  One more step forward.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, we had some friends over for dinner.  They have two adorable boys – the oldest is almost four, and the youngest is not quite a year.  I sent my friend the link to my photo blog and suggested a family photo shoot once the weather gets warmer – outside shots are much more fun and I’m still not overly confident in my indoor lighting skills.  She also thought that was a great idea!  Another step forward!

I feel excited about these opportunities.  However, I have never been a patient person, and the thought of having to wait two more months until the weather is warmer is agonizing!  I am still working on expanding my skills by completing daily photo assignments suggested by The Daily Shoot.  It’s a great site because the assignments really require me to expand outside my normal shooting range.  In addition, the assignments spark other ideas that I might not have otherwise thought of.

Don’t worry – I’m still a procrastinator at heart.  Now my procrastination efforts are focused on putting off assignments for my regular job in order to pursue my true passions!

Confessions of a Procrastinator

We’re only a couple of weeks into the new year, and I have already started putting off things that I swore I would make priorities in 2011.  I know that if I want to make my aspirations of being a photographer reality, I am going to have to start taking pictures of people.  I’m not going to find anyone who wants me to photograph their children or their wedding if all I can show them are pictures of landscapes, flowers, and my dog.  I mean, my dog is cute, but come on.  My husband and I have lots of friends with kids, and I have jokingly told most of them that I want to take family pictures for them.  I never follow through.  And now the ground is covered in four inches of snow and we have single degree temperatures.  I don’t have enough experience with lighting to do shoots in someone’s house.  (I have an endless supply of excuses like this.)

I think it’s because I am a little bit afraid of failing.  OK, a lot afraid.  I’m also afraid that I won’t be as uninhibited as I would be with an actual client with regard to directions and trying to compose shots.  Ironic, right?  Shouldn’t I be more comfortable withy my friends?  But what goes through my head is, “What will my friends think of my if I tell them to do X and then I lay in the grass and do Y?”  Then I’m afraid that being inhibited will just lead to failure because the shots obviously won’t turn out like I envisioned.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I’m well aware that I just need to get over it.

Another thing I have been putting off (equally as important as photographing people) is making contact with photographers I know to pick their brains about becoming a professional.  I have so many questions.  Everything from what settings they use, what equipment, what software, and workflow process to marketing, web design, promotion, contracts, payment, and on and on and on.

Again, it comes down to fear.  What if they say no?  Worse, what if they are mean about saying no?!  What if they say yes, look at my pictures, and tell me I should stick with my day job?  I’m always apprehensive about asking someone for help or advice.  I know how valuable people’s time is and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.  The irony (again) is that whenever someone approaches me for similar advice about the legal profession, I always say yes.  I’ve met with alums and I even helped out a sales clerk at a retail store who was getting her paralegal degree and happened to find out I was an attorney.  I don’t know why I expect the worst from others.

I know these are just silly excuses to avoid my fear of failure.  If I fail, then I’m stuck being a lawyer forever.  But, if I don’t get over my fears and do these two things, then I’m still stuck being a lawyer forever.  So, it’s time to get over the fear.  I resolve to stop procrastinating.  I resolve to do these two things within the next two weeks.  I’ll report back.

Just Shoot Me

Ever since I was a kid I remember loving pictures.  I love looking at them.  I love taking them.  I remember my dad always having an SLR camera with an external flash to take pictures of whatever my brother and I were doing.  I’ve had a camera ever since I can remember, although I don’t have a distinct memory of my first camera.  I’ve had all kinds of cameras, though (sadly, never a Polaroid).  I had the kind that took film in disk form (like the old View Masters (Finders?)).  I had one that was pink and long and skinny (kind of like the old Fisher Price toy camera with a “flash”).

I can look at pictures of total strangers and be completely engrossed for hours.  I remember looking through old pictures of my parents when I was younger.  I still pour over those albums for hours every so often.  Once a year or so I pull them off the shelf at my mom’s house and look through them.

So, what’s the big deal?  I love that a photograph can capture one small instant for eternity.  A moment you might never have otherwise remembered.  I love that emotions are captured forever.  I can pick up photos from years ago, and the feelings and memories related to that time will instantly come flooding back to me. 

What is even better is when I look at pictures of people I don’t know or events that I didn’t attend, and I have those same feelings wash over me, as if I was there or I did know them.  If that’s how I feel as someone on the outside, imagine how great those images must be for the people they were made for.  The love and happiness on your wedding day forever suspended in time.  The fun and laughter of your first child’s first birthday.  These are moments you never want to forget, and a good photograph will capture everything that made that moment special.

That’s why I love photography.  I have boxes of pictures that I have taken over the years (when cameras used film and you had to print them out in order to see what you shot.  I miss that sometimes).  Pictures of school functions, family functions, friends, pets, travels.  I had thought before about being a photographer, but never seriously.  I have no formal training or real experience as a photographer.  What a ridiculous idea that would be. 

I started evaluating what I wanted out of a career.  I went to law school to “help people.”  So naive and idealistic, I was.  I don’t help people in the way that I thought I would help people.  I realized that what I had really started out to do was to make people happy.  How could I use something I am passionate about to make people happy?  Photography has always been something I loved.  And pictures make people happy.  Even if you hate having your picture taken, a well-composed image that presents you in a way you never thought possible will make you happy.  (I swear!)

And then I thought – why not?  Why shouldn’t I throw caution to the wind for once?  I can buy a nice camera and take photography classes.  I can stalk  network with photographers, offer to shadow for free, con my friends into letting me take pictures of their kids.  I could build a portfolio.  I could do this (and better to do it now while I’m still fairly young and don’t have children).  So began my adventure into trying to become a photographer.  It’s still in the early stages, but I feel good about it.

I recently asked my dad about that old SLR.  He used that camera until just a few years ago, and I was curious if he still had it.  He did, along with the same neck strap and bag that I remembered so clearly.  I looked through the bag after he left and was perusing through the instruction manual and warranty cards.  I came across the receipt.  I wasn’t even five years old when he bought it, and my brother was about six months.  That explained why for as long as I could remember that was our family camera.  It did not, however, explain why the warranty cards were still in the bag.

I just realized I haven’t looked through those boxes of photos for a while.  What better way to spend a snowy evening.

Inspiration and Motivation

I am going to continue to take advantage of The Daily Post suggestions because I know the day will come when I struggle to come up with an idea.  At that point I can pull from one of the ideas on my running list of topics.  Today’s topic is why did you start a blog?  I actually have two blogs, and the reasons for starting each are quite different…on the surface.  On a deeper level, the reasons really are the same: practice, experience, and exposure.

I have a photo blog that I started in order to share my pictures with friends and family, explore my photography skills, and make a conscious effort to find the beauty in the ordinary, everyday things I encounter.  I have aspirations of making photography a career (at least on a part-time basis), and I thought starting a blog would be a step in the right direction.

I started this blog mostly because I hate my career, but I’m tired of doing nothing but complaining about it.  I decided it was time to start taking active steps to do something about it (I guess, in part, that was also the motivation for the photo blog).  I have always loved to write, and I used to journal on a daily basis when I was younger.  I think journaling is an excellent way to de-stress and refocus.  It allows you to vent, wonder, dream, and think about your innermost secrets without worrying about fear of judgment (unless someone reads your journal, which totally sucks).

I suppose the main reason for starting this blog was to purge some of the negative thoughts and frustrations from my head and to take a positive, forward-moving approach at figuring out what I want to do “when I grow up.”  Part of me would love to be a writer (the part that isn’t a photographer 😉 ), but I don’t know what I would write about.  I’ve thought about writing fiction, but that’s no easy task to undertake.  But I figured if I started the blog and just wrote…about anything, about everything…maybe inspiration would strike.

So, ultimately, each of my blogs is about getting more experience with both crafts, developing, skills, and hoping that someone stumbles upon my pages and likes them well enough to read an entire post.  And if I’m really lucky, subscribe!