Road Blocks

I’m not sure why writing is coming so hard right now, but it is.  I don’t know if it’s the thought of writing every day for the next year.  I sit down every day and hover the pen over the page, but nothing wants to come out. I don’t know where my story is going.  I don’t know what the characters are doing.  Normally that’s OK.  I don’t need to know where they’re going long-term.  But usually I know how they’re going to travel through the next few pages.  But not lately.  Lately I just sit and stare.

I don’t want to abandon the story.  That’s not it (for once), and it’s not that I don’t want to write.  It’s just become hard. I can’t explain it any more than that.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t really like to edit as a go along.  I just want to get the story out and then rework from there.  But I think it might be time to at least go back and do some constructive read-throughs.

I’ve started developing character relationships that I wasn’t expecting.  I like them, but now that I’m conscious of them, I feel like they’re trying to hard.  I feel like something that was good and natural is now cheesy and not fitting with the tone of the story.

Maybe I’m to the point where I need a general outline.  I never thought that would happen or that I would get to that point. But it think it might be here.  Maybe I just need to write down random thoughts.  Kind of like I am now.

Even as I write this I feel like I’m cheating, like I’m not really writing because I haven’t written anything for the story.  And I’m about halfway through my time.

That’s another thing.  Before, my thirty minutes flew by.  It was the fastest part of my day, even on the days that I struggled with the story.  Now I find myself wanting to reach out and check the timer on a regular basis.

I’ve thought about working on something else, but every time I do that I feel like I accomplish nothing.  Inevitably I never finish whatever short story I try to write while taking a break.  I always come to hate them and find them stupid, so I feel that it’s better to cut my losses than push forward and finish something that is mediocre.  Perhaps that’s just a cop-out.

I suppose I’ve spent enough time lamenting the life of a wannabe writer.  It’s time to actually write something.

Observations on Running

We’ve had some unusually warm temperatures for this time of year, and I’m seeing more people out than usual.  I’m sure people are drawn out by New Year’s resolutions, the weather, and the fact that training is about to begin for the nation’s largest half marathons.  As more people are out, there are some things I have noticed.

It’s really not wise to run with traffic – ever, but especially not at dusk and when you aren’t wearing adequate reflective gear.  I see so many people running with traffic.  Remember how your parents taught you to walk/run against traffic?  That advice is still applicable.

I’m also surprised at how many people I see out when it’s dark without reflective gear.  Those small bits of material on your shoes and clothes really isn’t enough.  Always wear additional items, like a vest, when you are out early in the morning or late in the evening.  The sun sets so quickly these days, and what starts out as a fairly well-lit run quickly turns dark.  If you’re a klutz like me, think about investing in a head lamp.  Yes, I’m serious.  It lights your path and helps oncoming traffic spot you.

Which brings me to a real gripe.  Drivers, you must be on the lookout for runners!  Stop signs are placed for a reason.  They aren’t meant for you to roll up to and through without looking in all directions.  Just because you don’t see a vehicle doesn’t mean there isn’t a runner or walker right in your path of travel.  I really don’t like to jump out of harm’s way.  Yes, I will curse at you.

I also see a lot of runners on the sidewalks.  I just don’t get this.  No race will ever be run on a sidewalk.  It also makes it difficult for those walking on the sidewalk to do so.

I am lucky in that there are two greenway paths within running distance of my house.  I love being out there with other runners, walkers, and bikers.  But it’s important to be aware of your surroundings.  Let someone know you’re coming up behind them and are going to pass.  This goes for all types of users.  An audible “on your left” really takes very little effort and I can better gauge how close you are to me.  Silence or a tinny little bell doesn’t really do the trick.

And finally, the thing I really don’t understand – is it really that hard to say hello, wave, or even smile at a fellow runner as you pass by?  You’re both out doing the same thing, working hard, trying to improve yourself.  It’s crazy how many runners I pass who avert their eyes or even scowl at me.  We’re all runners.  We’re all connected by the love of the sport.  I always give me an extra boost when a fellow runner give me an enthusiastic hello, and I always try to do the same (even if you’re scowling at me).  Maybe give it a try next time you are out.

Keep these things in mind as you take to the streets, and I think we’ll all have a safer and more enjoyable time.

Welcome, 2012

Good things are going to come this year, I can just feel it.  I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I haven’t felt this optimistic about a new year in quite some time.  Typically I’m not one for resolutions.  I never stick with them and they become distant memories in a short period of time.  But this year, I’ve come up with a few.  Nothing too unrealistic, nothing too outside my comfort zone.  Just things that I planned on doing anyway, but writing about it will make me more accountable.

1. Write Every Day.  I’m already off to a bad start, having missed yesterday.  But I’m writing today, so that is success.  30 minutes every day at a minimum.  Hopefully I’ll be able to blog more than once a month, and maybe I can make some progress on a couple of book ideas I’ve been working on.

2.  Run 1000 Miles.  At first this seemed like a lot.  That’s like 83 miles a month! But if you break it down even more, it’s less than 20 miles a week.  That is totally doable.  However, I have yet to lace up the running shoes in the new year.

3.  Say I Love You More.  Everyone’s busy.  Me, my family, my friends.  We all have stuff going on.  But it makes me sad when I stop to think how much time passes between telling the people who matter most in my life how much they mean to me.  Along with this, I will make more phone calls, write more emails, and make more time for visits.

4.  Be More Organized.  I used to pride myself on my organization skills.  I’m not sure where it all fell apart, but it did.  I feel like I’m trying to do a lot right now, and the only way to keep on top of it all is to get my life in order.  I do better with a more structured environment, so while I lament the loss of the flexibility of my old job, I look forward to the routine that the new job will provide.  Staying organized also includes keeping my house clean.  I’ve actually accomplished that one – for the most part.  I only have a small amount of dusting and sweeping left upstairs.  Let’s hope it’s not another two months before I life another dust rag.

5.  Be Happy.  I wasn’t sure what to title this last one.  I spend a lot of time fretting and stressing over what other people think.  What if I say something stupid?  What if I make someone angry? What if I’m wrong?  What if I have to argue with someone even though I know I’m right?  All of these “what ifs” are exhausting and not productive.  And silly.  In order to focus on doing things that make me happy, I can’t worry about what other people think.  I can’t waste time doing things I don’t want to do just because someone might be mad if I say no.

Five things.  I don’t think this is too tall of an order.  They aren’t really resolutions, but goals to make 2012 the best that it can be.  I’ll keep you posted on the progress.