Confessions of a Procrastinator

We’re only a couple of weeks into the new year, and I have already started putting off things that I swore I would make priorities in 2011.  I know that if I want to make my aspirations of being a photographer reality, I am going to have to start taking pictures of people.  I’m not going to find anyone who wants me to photograph their children or their wedding if all I can show them are pictures of landscapes, flowers, and my dog.  I mean, my dog is cute, but come on.  My husband and I have lots of friends with kids, and I have jokingly told most of them that I want to take family pictures for them.  I never follow through.  And now the ground is covered in four inches of snow and we have single degree temperatures.  I don’t have enough experience with lighting to do shoots in someone’s house.  (I have an endless supply of excuses like this.)

I think it’s because I am a little bit afraid of failing.  OK, a lot afraid.  I’m also afraid that I won’t be as uninhibited as I would be with an actual client with regard to directions and trying to compose shots.  Ironic, right?  Shouldn’t I be more comfortable withy my friends?  But what goes through my head is, “What will my friends think of my if I tell them to do X and then I lay in the grass and do Y?”  Then I’m afraid that being inhibited will just lead to failure because the shots obviously won’t turn out like I envisioned.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I’m well aware that I just need to get over it.

Another thing I have been putting off (equally as important as photographing people) is making contact with photographers I know to pick their brains about becoming a professional.  I have so many questions.  Everything from what settings they use, what equipment, what software, and workflow process to marketing, web design, promotion, contracts, payment, and on and on and on.

Again, it comes down to fear.  What if they say no?  Worse, what if they are mean about saying no?!  What if they say yes, look at my pictures, and tell me I should stick with my day job?  I’m always apprehensive about asking someone for help or advice.  I know how valuable people’s time is and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.  The irony (again) is that whenever someone approaches me for similar advice about the legal profession, I always say yes.  I’ve met with alums and I even helped out a sales clerk at a retail store who was getting her paralegal degree and happened to find out I was an attorney.  I don’t know why I expect the worst from others.

I know these are just silly excuses to avoid my fear of failure.  If I fail, then I’m stuck being a lawyer forever.  But, if I don’t get over my fears and do these two things, then I’m still stuck being a lawyer forever.  So, it’s time to get over the fear.  I resolve to stop procrastinating.  I resolve to do these two things within the next two weeks.  I’ll report back.