Following a Schedule

Things have been hectic around here.  Looking for a new job while simultaneously trying to kick-start two new potential careers has proved to be exhausting.  I find myself running out of time to do anything.  When I stopped to think about it, I realized that despite feeling busy, I wasn’t actually accomplishing anything.  I hadn’t submitted any applications.  I hadn’t taken any new pictures or done any blog posts. Everything I was writing was crap.  I needed more time in the day.  But how?

Then I took a hard look at my day.  I didn’t have enough time to get everything done because I wasn’t getting out of bed until 8:00.  I tried to justify it by telling myself that I didn’t have to be at work at any given time, and I was just a little depressed so didn’t I deserve to stay in bed where I was comfortable and happy?  But I wasn’t happy. I was still miserable.

One evening I spent part of my workbook time coming up with a schedule for every day of the week.  First and foremost, it required me to get out of bed earlier.  I have never been a morning person. Ever.  I thought when I started running that the long Sunday morning runs would help me get into a habit of rising with the sun. No such luck.  I was determined this time to do it, though, even if it meant doing it in fifteen minute increments.  The goal of getting up earlier was to give myself time before going to work to look for jobs, submit applications, write or edit photos.  All things that I was either doing while at the office or thinking about doing.  The would hopefully allow me to focus on what needed to be done at work, and I could limit the time I had to be there.

When I got done, I was happy with the schedule.  I looked at it knowing I could do it.  But it remained a flat 1-dimensional list in my notebook for a few weeks.  I just couldn’t bear to pull my body out of bed and face the day any earlier than I had to.  I began thinking maybe I should go see my doctor to get some antidepressants, even though I’ve never taken such medication.  I just couldn’t pull myself out of that funk.

That has changed a bit over the past week. I was forced to get up early last Saturday, Sunday and Monday due to various commitments and schedules. In fact, Monday I had to be out of bed by 5:30 and in the car by 6:30 for a three-hour drive.  After three days in a row of early rising, I thought it wasn’t so bad.  I wasn’t feeling that tired when I got up or by the evening, which is when I usually crash.  I am happy to report that I have successfully gotten out of bed no later than 7:00 (OK, maybe 7:10) for the past seven days. I know that isn’t that early, and I can hear all of you with kids groaning at me.  I know, I know.  But trust me, 7:00 is good for me, and I’ll take it for now.

I’ll tell you, 7:00 feels a lot earlier than it is right now because it is so very dark at that time. However, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing the sun rise every day, and I’ve applied for four or five jobs.  I feel like that hour or so in the morning is my time to accomplish some things.  It’s my time, and I’ve gotten a little grumpy when it gets interrupted. I haven’t done so well on the rest of the schedule, but I’m OK with baby steps.  It will take a while to get into the groove of this new routine.  But, I’ll get there, and it will be so worth it.