The Irony of Blogging

This blog has been in existence for about four months, although I have only seriously been blogging for a couple of months (sixty days to be exact!), and I have told none of my family or friends about its existence.  Well, my husband knows about it (and he blabbed about to some of his work people) but I don’t know if he remembers the web address.  He certainly could find it if he wanted to (it’s on our Safari top sites page after all) and I’ve never actually asked him not to look at it.  For some reason, I feel very protective of this blog.  OK, not this blog, of myself.

Writing is so personal, and I am afraid to have people I know read and critique me.  But here’s the irony – I have no problems posting quasi-anonymously and having (potentially) the entire world find and read my blog.  Crazy, right?  I don’t feel the same about my photo blog, even though my photos are also personal expressions of myself.  I post links to that blog everywhere – Facebook, Twitter, Flickr – anywhere and everywhere I can think of.  I guess if people don’t like my photos I can explain it away by saying I’m just a beginner.  I’m still learning.  Cut me some slack.

But with writing, I don’t have that excuse.  I was taught how to write when I was a child.  If I can’t write well by now, then I must not be able to, right?  These are the things I fear people who have known me for a while will think.  I also blog a lot about my job and my career and how much I despise both.  I’m hesitant to link to Facebook because I’m “friends” with most of my coworkers and one of my bosses.  That could be awkward, right?  (Um, no boss, that wasn’t you I called an idiot on the World Wide Web where everyone and their brother can read what I wrote.)  I don’t like my job, but I don’t want to be fired!

I also don’t want to change or limit what I write about just because I’m afraid of who might read it.  This blog is just one part of the process I am going through to figure out what to do when I grow up, and that includes reflecting on where I am right now in life, where my career is and where it is taking me.  So, for the time being, my Publicize button will remain unlinked to Facebook, and I will only tweet posts related to photography.  Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to share with my friends and family what the rest of the world can already see!