Finding My Confidence, Part 1

Marathon training started out like gangbusters.  For four weeks, I got in all my miles, all my speed workouts (even those dreaded Yasso 800s), and all my long runs (including a great 10 miler).  Then things fell apart.  I’m not sure what happened.  I missed a long run (beer was involved).  I missed a mid-distance run (beer was again involved).  I went on vacation.  I was busy at work getting ready for a trial.  Before I knew it, two weeks had gone by, I’d hardly run any miles, and I all but forgot what a long run entailed.

I was mad at myself, but I was also starting to get worried.  I’m trying to run a marathon.  This isn’t something I can just half-ass for the next few weeks and then wake up on November 3 expecting to run 26.2 miles.  I don’t want to be miserable, and I don’t want to be out there for five hours.  Despite my fears, I still couldn’t find the motivation to get back on schedule.

I had expected lots of running while I was in San Francisco.  In spite of (or maybe because of) the hills, it’s one of my favorite places to run.  There’s nothing like running along the Bay, through the Presidio, and over to the Golden Gate Bridge.  I’d been looking forward to doing that again since the last time I did it in April of 2011.  It was going to be thirty+ degrees cooler than home, and I was anxious for a fast pace.  We were there for a week.  We ran twice.  I don’t know what happened.  Our first run was great – it was cool; we were fast.  Then it was like some weird depression fog came over me.

We got home on a Wednesday (after 24 hours of being in airports and flying), and upon arrival were greeted by near-triple digit temps and humidity.  That fog followed me home, settled in, and I swear it started talking to me.  “You missed your long run.  It’s already Wednesday afternoon.  You aren’t going to run today.  You’ll never get  your miles in.  You can’t run five days in a row after missing so much time.  Just sit on the couch until next week.”  Not only did I listen, but I bought into it, too.

The weekend rolled around, and still exhausted from “sleeping” on an airplane, I chose sleep over running.  Knowing that I needed to be up by 6:30 in order to accomplish any decent mileage, I repeatedly hit the snooze button until I turned off the alarm.  When I peeked at the clock again, it was 8:45.  Game over.

I wanted to believe that I could just start fresh on Monday.  Just put the past few weeks behind me and start over.  I had a tough speed workout on the calendar and a 12 mile run to try to make up for the missed distance.  If I could get through it all, I would consider myself to be back on track.  The catch was that I was going to be out of town Monday and Tuesday for the trial.  Travel, stress, anxiety, and final preparations were going to make morning runs impossible.  Illinois was just has hot as Indiana.  Did I have it in myself to go out and run in the heat of the late afternoon?

I wasn’t sure, even though I knew if I didn’t get my sh*t together, it would be time to start thinking about changing my entry to the half.

Curious to find out what happens?  Come back tomorrow for Part 2!

Preparing for Vacation

I love to go on vacation, but I hate getting ready for it.  I always wait until the last minute to pack, shoving things into zippered pockets of the suitcase and putting my entire weight on the top of the suitcase as I try to zip it.  And that’s just my clothes.  I have a bag of other “stuff” for the trip – phone chargers, the computer (sometimes), hotel and plane information, camera and all accessories, sight-seeing recommendations.  Then I have my bag of travel activities.  I’m like a child.  I need my iPod, books, a notebook (what if a brilliant idea strikes me?), maybe some magazines.  All this packing is time-consuming, yet I always wait until the last minute.

We leave next week for our honeymoon, and we’ll be gone for ten days.  That’s a lot of clothes.  In addition, we are going to two different cities with two totally different climates – New Orleans and San Francisco.  So, even on the off-chance that I don’t spill on myself or sweat through my clothes during the first leg of the trip, I still have to pack more clothes for the second leg.  Luckily we are flying Southwest and bags fly free!  This trip we are definitely taking advantage of 2 checked bags per traveler.

I have no excuse for not packing ahead of time this trip because we will not be wearing any of the clothes that we will take with us.  No laundry to worry about, no needing to wear a certain pair of jeans during the week before we leave.  It’s going to be a while before shorts are in season here at home.  In theory, I could start packing this weekend, which is what I should do considering all that we’ve got going on next week.  Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings already have other obligations and our flight leaves at 8 am on Saturday morning.  Now that I think about it, we often leave at 8 am in the morning.  Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?!

I haven’t even touched on the other aspect of vacation preparation – getting work organized in a manner that won’t leave me stressed during the entire vacation.  If it were all in my hands, this would not be a problem.  But it’s not.  Before I leave, all of my cases will be up to date, deadlines met or extended, status reports complete, etc.  Inevitably, someone else will find something on his or her to-do list that will somehow become my problem.  Despite my intent to make it very clear that I will not be responding to emails or returning phone calls, I already anticipate receiving a flood of emails.  I’ve already decided that I will only check work email and voice mail at the end of the day, and with the time differences, it will be too late to respond!

Regardless, I am so excited to go I can barely contain myself.  We have not had a true vacation in about two years.  I’m like the kids in the Disney World commercials…”can’t sleep, too excited”.  And we’re still ten days away!  I think I can make it that long…

Is There Anything Better Than a Road Trip?

I love road trips.  I always have, even when I was a kid and we were just traveling three hours to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  I love that road trips afford the opportunity to see parts of the world that you otherwise would never come across.  My first real road trip happened the summer that I turned 13 – literally my 13th birthday was during the two-week trip.  I went with my aunt, uncle and cousin on a trip out west.  We saw the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, the Painted Desert and ended in Mexico.  It was a great experience, but a long trip.  I think everyone was frustrated by the time it was over.  Two teenage girls can only keep themselves entertained for so long.  On that trip I learned that I would never again stay in a Motel 6.

My husband and I take at least one road trip a year, even if it’s only to visit family.  Sometimes we take the dog, which always makes for an entertaining trip.  The most important part of getting ready for any road trip is selecting the snacks.  We don’t stop very often (only for infrequent bathroom stops and maybe one full meal picked up at the drive through).  I must have the equivalent of three meals a day or else I become very irritable.  So, it’s important to select filling, yet healthy, snacks and to find drinks that do not increase the need to go to the bathroom (ie, limit caffeine).  There are also a couple of other food-related rules – nothing that is too messy, and snacks must be able to be eaten with one hand for the ease of whoever is driving.  There are two things that always come with us on a trip – Twizzlers for me (they’re a low-fat candy!) and peanut M&Ms for him.  I can seriously eat a 2-pound family sized bag of Twizzlers on a trip (let’s not get into whether that changes depending on the length of the trip).

The second most important part of getting ready for a road trip is figuring out what you are going to take with you to occupy your time.  CD selection is paramount.  It’s not just selecting artists and albums, but also determining the order in which they will be played.  Next, what books to take?  How many?  I only do a little bit of driving (I’ve offered to do more…) so I can usually cruise through a decent number of pages.  Finally, how much (if any) work do I take with me?  I know, sad that I consider that, but such is the nature of being an independent contractor.

I get that road trips aren’t for everyone.  Some people get car sick.  Some people get bored and cranky.  But for some people, the best vacations are road trips.  Yes, it takes longer to get there (sometimes), but there’s no hassle of airport security, making sure your carry-on is the right size or not over the weight limit, and no restrictions on when you can stretch your legs or go to the cramped bathroom.  For me, the road trip part is like a vacation within a vacation.  Uninterrupted time together to talk, laugh, and just be.

My favorite road trip to date was when we drove to Arlington, VA to visit my brother and sister-in-law, then drove to near Atlanta, GA to visit my husband’s sister, stopping on the way to have dinner with a friend from law school.  It was in October, so it was a great time of year to be traveling around that part of the country in the car.  The colors were beautiful and the temperature was perfect.  We don’t yet have any road trips planned for this year, but it is only February.  We like to travel to places we haven’t been before.  Perhaps we’ll take a look at one of the northern states this time.  Any recommendations?